spongebob: my butt doesnt talk!
by gutier3
Summary: spongebob's parents visit their son, at his party
1. incident at the birthday party!

Mom my butt doesn't talk!

My life's messed up. Everything started last week in my birthday party, when some kid for some retarded reason ruined my life.

This kid that I didn't even know was holding some kind of those stupid toys that you press a button and it says something completely random, and so this kid pull out a prank on me.

We were at the table with the cake in front of me and I was about to blow the candles when the freaking kid got up close to my buttocks and pressed the button and to my luck the toy said something like "sorry I farted" so then the kid ran away laughing, while I was standing there having the most embarrassing moment of my life.

I blushed, and the only thing I could think about was something like " when I see that boy I'm going to making him fart till it hurts", so then I came back from my imagination and saw everybody staring at me, like saying "blow the candles!", but I couldn't move knowing that my girlfriend just heard that.

The next day I got ready for school and went to the bus stop, when I got in the bus like five rows behind me was that little silly kid from yesterday sitting with this other buff looking g guy.

I knew that I couldn't just go back there grab him and punch him when that other kid could even stop my dad, so I just had to wait till his bodyguard would leave him alone for a while so I could fix this problem.

He was about 12 or maybe 11 years old but age didn't matter, I wanted my reputation back. I was sitting in seventh hour in my social studies class waiting to see that boy, and I think after what was going to happen he would need therapy, and I wouldn't be happy to be the therapist.

It was time to go home and I didn't do anything in the entire day about the problem, and during the way home the big guy was next to him again. My bus stop is almost the last one but when I saw the kid getting off I could see it was about three blocks away from my house, I got an idea and to proceed I had to get off in this stop to see where he lives so someday I could pull out a prank on him.

He lives in a white house with gardens in the sides and a dog house, that house was kind of familiar, but it didn't matter now so I just walked home the rest of the way.

My mom was cooking dinner and my dad was watching TV in the sofa, I said hi and walked into my room and lay down in the bed, when I was about to go to sleep when someone knocked on my door and o rapidly woke and opened the door.

I found my mom holding a bunch of papers and with a face of excitement that I didn't like that much, I asked my mom what was she doing and quickly she sit down on my chair and pulled out a paper that talked about people with supposed talking arms and legs but there was this one article about talking butts!, I managed a smile and asked her what was this, she said "oh dear don't worry we'll find the right doctor".

I could see some papers about a bunch of books of world records, some papers with names of hospitals for special people and a bunch of papers of various circuses around the world.

My mind filled with fear, answered "mom my butt doesn't talk!", and she replied "oh my, the first symptoms are happening" so I just lay down again and tried to forget everything but then my mom got a call, she was talking to a "doctor" about my "problem".

I took the phone out of her hands and repeated "mom my bottom doesn't talk", but no she didn't give up, she just said something like "ok sweetie ill talk to you later" or something so I ran and sat down with my dad.

He looked at me weird and after that he said, "I love you son but I can't live with a son with a magical butt", so I went upstairs to my room upset and continued with my miserable life. Will continue…..


	2. seeking revenge

MOM MY BUTT DOESNT TALK

2

It was such a beautiful Saturday morning, when I woke up. I rushed downstairs and prepared myself a nutritious meal to start my fabulous day. I was enjoying my meal, when suddenly out of nowhere the bell rang. Who could it be at this time of the morning???, who knows maybe my parents, or pat, or some girl, or Obama. Anyways, I went to check, and when I opened the door. A kid jumped out of nowhere and threw a dangerous balloon full of poisonous acid at my face, then he screamed and ran off.

I shut the door as hard as I could, and went to the bathroom to wash off my face the highly hazardous fluids that were making my flesh to fall and show my exposed face muscles. I stapled myself some of the skin falling off, and then prepare to make a master plan, to blow out this kid off the earth forever.

I went over to pat´s house and told him step by step the whole story, and when I was finished, he replied, "are you hungry?", that's when I got the idea!!!, we would kidnap him at night, and then make him eat dirt off the ground the rest of the night.

So me and Patrick, dressed ourselves all with black clothing and when it was about seven pm. We headed to the house of the "li´l Hitler" but before going pat said that if there weren't any snacks included, he wouldn't help me. So I went to the store and bought as many Twinkies as I could and packed them in this HUGE! Backpack and gave it to Patrick. Anyways, we headed to his house afterward. And then when we were sure he was asleep, we started climbing the outside walls of the house using staplers., but a set of staplers wouldn't carry Patrick anymore than two feet, so I had to glue three staplers together and so then we finally could climb up. When we were at his window, we saw him asleep, so we broke in and injected on him some tranquilizer so we wouldn't wake up. When we got to my house. We waited till the tranquilizer was done, so Patrick and I dived into the backpack full of Twinkies, but after eating my second, I didn't want to get out of the bag, I wanted to keep eating more and more!!!!, I felt like in heaven, so after my tenth twinkie, I just started to rub them all over me, and just sniffing them so much that eventually the smell made me sick and so I stopped.

After some five minutes, the kid woke up, but we had him attached to a pole, so he couldn't go away. I told him to apologize and to leave me alone forever, but after each word I said he would scream, "ahhhhhhh, let out!!!!, let me out, im calling my grandma!!!, shell murder you!!! let me out!!!", but we knew that would not happen tonight. So we started spooning the dirt off the ground and made him chew and swallow every spoon of dirt, till he accepted to never come back, and to leave us alone. So we let him go, but we told him that if he called the cops, we would make him fart until he really had to see a shock-specialist doctor. He nodded and headed off... WILL CONTINUE!!!


End file.
